If mankind is the ocean, then I am an island at its epicenter. I’m sure if you owned an island, you might be granted the luxury of thinking like that. And what do you know, here’s an auction where you can step your game up as the playboy of the universe and bid on a private island in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.

The island is only 10 minutes from the center of a nearby town, so you get amazing privacy without the desolation that Tom Hanks suffered. Plus, I’ve heard that Brazil holds the highest rate for butt augmentations; not kidding.

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