I propose that instead of casual Friday, we all petition to have costume Friday. Why should we only wear costumes to celebrate the dead? Imagine how much more fun and colorful life would be with random costume wearing. How could you not feel all warm and fuzzy inside with Darth Vader working in the cubicle next to you? 

Click through and bid on a realistic, accurate Star Wars Darth Vader Supreme Edition costume. Don’t consider it going to the dark side, but accepting the fun side of life.

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Here’s the Web’s best kept secret: a cloning device! For only $27.95, you can have your very own cloning device. I have no doubt that the manufacturer is able to keep the costs down because they only needed to make one device, and then just cloned the rest of them, cutting down…completely eliminating production costs.

Supposedly, you’ll be able to put in anything you desire into this cloning device and it will produce an exact replica. The auctioneer suggests copying items such as ceramics, but I suggest the completely illegal path of inserting a single dollar and creating a fortune. I also suggest that you request a life-size device, so you can clone your significant other and create your own harem.

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Do you often find yourself sitting at home wondering what it would be like to sweep the skies, riding on a broomstick? Have you ever envied the wart on the nose of the Wicked Witch of the West? If so, then this lifetime school membership for learning to become a witch will surely help you actualize your dreams.

A winning bid will secure the best public Pagan education system in the world at Witch School International. This school is the self-proclaimed leading provider of education for the Wiccan and Pagan community…perhaps Harry Potter was too popular.   

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Normally, a construction-grade hardhat is nothing to write home about, but I completely encourage you to click through to this simply so you can read the description for this item. First of all, the bid is over $200; essentially for a piece of aluminum. Second, the auctioneer claims that yellow is one of the rarest colors in existence…I wonder what they think of puce?

And the auctioneer also claims that this hardhat is a thing of beauty, which led me to wonder if I’m being too crass here. Perhaps this person was raised by wolves and has been living in a cave for the last 20 years, and here I am mocking them for taking delight in the simpler things in life. Quite possibly, we could all learn something magnificent from this lover of hardhats.

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I was looking around at Biggest Auctions Live section and I noticed an auction that I had to check out. The auction is for 350 LCD & PLASMA TV’s, now the kicker is they are all damaged and need repair. But what stuck out to me is why anyone has 350 broken LCD & Plasma TV’s on hand to sell on eBay!

From the auction

The units ALL have broken screens and/or other cosmetic damage. Most of the units will power on, though not all have been tested. We are offering an amazing chance for anyone who refurbishes or resells. The TV’s range from 32″ – 60″. About 90% are 42″ – 60″. Of the 90% most are 42″. The units are no more than 2 – 3 years old. The majority are 2 or less. A few units still have original box.

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So if you have about 200 hours to spend repairing damaged LCDs and happen to own a motel or a hotel, this auction is perfect for you! Just think, you are only spending $115 per TV!

Just when you thought you’d never be able to sit down again, there’s PreparationH to the rescue! Now available for bidding! When I first saw this auction, I just laughed, and now, I’m laughing again at the thought of writing about something so ridiculous. My first thought was that this auction is geared towards the uber idiots out there. Then, my second thought was, perhaps bidding can provide an inexpensive alternative to shopping in stores for the minor things we might not be able to find other places.

Then, my third thought was that this is either for the uber, uber idiot or the lazy, because the shipping costs make the price higher than the average store price. So, unless you’re 500 miles from a store and are experiencing a flare-up that rivals hotspots on the sun, keep looking.

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Nothing says “I love you” like a $10 heart-paw necklace. Unless you’re 13 years old, buying a $10 necklace for your girlfriend for Valentine’s Day is virtually relationship suicide; better than nothing, but still dangerous.

However, the proceeds of this item go to a nonprofit agency, which helps provide shelters and rescues blind cats. This particular post will help Casper, a blind but loveable cat. Giving your significant other a gift like this is actually really thoughtful, and takes some of the stress out of finding the perfect Valentine’s Day gift — who could complain about something that saves an animal’s life?

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These 10 DVDs supposedly deliver expert training in stage hypnosis, hypnotherapy, complete mind therapy and more. According to the auctioneer, you’ll be able to gain celebrity clients and lucrative contracts with corporate companies. You may gain such clients, or you may just get laughed at.

Or, you could go the immoral route with this one and hypnotize your way to your dreams. Imagine how much easier it would be to ask your bosses for a raise if you could simply hypnotize them. Having trouble getting up the courage to ask your dream girl/guy for a date? No problem — hypnotize them!

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The auctioneer has posted this item as “PVC bondage trousers,” but I say differently. Why should only those interested in bondage get to enjoy ultimate comfort in clothing?

These soft leather trousers and their lacing look like they’d provide hours of relaxed fit and balanced body temperature — they’re not just for the sexually advanced. I’ve never seen better ventilation in a pair of pants in my life.

Click through and say goodbye to embarrassing sweat marks.

So you think this is a joke? Think again. With this purple marching majorette band jacket, you can lead your own parade. Oh yeah, that’s right. Be an individual. Be a nonconformist! There are too many people following too few.

A bid of $20 could buy you the opportunity to stand up for yourself and show people the way. Lead them by demonstrating that they don’t in fact need to be led! 

Okay, so maybe it’s a joke, but click through anyway.

This auction grants the unbelievable ability to vanish and reappear as you desire! Notice I wrote “unbelievable” — who the hell with a quarter of a brain would believe something like this? Or is that just part of the fun, blowing money on the world’s dumbest items possible?

Well, apparently this item is the product of a thousand-year old secret and is currently used by the CIA and foreign intelligence agencies…yet only an eBay member has been made privy to this. Simply fascinating, for less than $25 I could quite possibly go anywhere and virtually do anything I want.

Click through for amazing technology only available through the biggest auctions.

This cup yields 30 years of power drawn from Rabbi Azulai’s practicing of the Kabbalah and writing talismans. He managed to transfer all the secrets of the Kabbalah into this cup. The cup is said to grant longer, healthier lives. I’m guessing your ordinary multivitamin would probably offer a better chance at longevity than this cup.

And did the transfer of power and secrets to the cup kill the great Rabbi? Why hasn’t he mass produced these? Why can’t I find a magic cup at Wal-Mart?

Click through for a mystical window into spirituality…or something.