I don’t care how many times she loses custody of her kids, Britney Spears will always be that sweet lil thing that wore a school-girl outfit in a music video – no, I have absolutely no recollection of what the song was. But that’s what Spears has come down to, her singing talent may be considered great by some, but it’s just not good enough to withstand the personal garbage she’s heaping on top of it.

Barring some amazing counseling breakthrough, Spears will simply be known as the sexiest trailer trash out there. So you might as well bid on a preprinted and autographed photo of Spears.

Click through and bid on a heavily clothed, yet still a sexy photo of Spears.

This cup yields 30 years of power drawn from Rabbi Azulai’s practicing of the Kabbalah and writing talismans. He managed to transfer all the secrets of the Kabbalah into this cup. The cup is said to grant longer, healthier lives. I’m guessing your ordinary multivitamin would probably offer a better chance at longevity than this cup.

And did the transfer of power and secrets to the cup kill the great Rabbi? Why hasn’t he mass produced these? Why can’t I find a magic cup at Wal-Mart?

Click through for a mystical window into spirituality…or something.

This auction is not for the actual fist of Saddam Hussein, and if you were interested in that, then you should probably seek some counseling…no offense. This $18,000 auction is for a huge metal fist from a statue of the heinous dictator, recovered by a member of the Coalition Forces during Operation Telic (Iraqi Freedom).

The auctioneer claims he’ll reveal the exact location where this fist was recovered to the winning bidder. This secrecy makes it sound like he’s trying to make bidders believe it’s the fist from the famous statue we all saw being torn down…maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. Either way, if it is indeed from any authentic Hussein statue, it will make for an amazing collector’s item, and will surely sky rocket in value.

Click through and bid on a big fist from a big jerk.

Get a gorgeous 1997 Ducati Monster 750 for only $3,500. This puppy has barely hit the road, having spent most of its life in a garage as a collector’s item. It has been ridden enough to keep the fluids and rubber parts in proper working order.

This road master is part of a fine history, dating back to 1926, when the brothers Adriano, Marcello and Bruno Ducati founded Societa Scientifica Radio Brevietti Ducati in Bologna. Not even heavy Allied bombing of their original factory could stop them! 

Click through and bid on an awesome bike for a great price.

Against all popular belief, it was actually a new set of lungs that the Tin Man needed; not a heart. This item features Buddy Ebsen’s De Vilbiss Pulmo-Aide Portable Compressor used during the filming of The Wizard of Oz.

This poor guy was supposed to be the original Tin Man, but inhaled too much aluminum dust from his makeup and almost died from lung difficulties. This machine may very well have saved his life — unfortunately for Ebsen, it didn’t save his role in the movie.

Click through and bid on something that is almost famous; but not really.

This gold ring allegedly belonged to Longinus (no, that’s not a porn screen name), the Roman soldier who pierced Jesus in his side while he was on the Cross. Longinus was the bearer of the Spear of Destiny, which, as Bible, myth and faith hold, possesses(ed) unworldly powers.

First, none of the profits from this auction are going to any non-profit organizations, so we can assume this person has no religious affiliation, as they would be making money off an extremely holy artifact. Also, such a ring would surely have some inherent powers, making the monetary value of this piece simply unspeakable. And if doesn’t possess any powers, then it would raise some serious issues within the Church. And then there’s the 99.99 percent chance that this is a complete fake.

Probably a fugazi, but click through to find some genuine artifacts with amazing historical significance.

Star Wars items will always be super hot in the collector’s realm. This is especially true now that the latest round of three Star Wars movies have elevated the original three to the level of ultra uber classic. The value of just about any Star Wars item is almost guaranteed to continue to rise…unless you’re one of those people kicking yourself for having taken these toys out of their original package to actually play with them.

This Sonic Land Speeder is rated at AFA 80, which is thought of as satisfactory on the Silver level of grading, making me question the justification for over $6,000 on the starting bid amount. But such items really should be looked at as investments, considering what they could bring you in resale down the road – if you can part with it at that point.

Click here to get the hell out of Tatooine.

Is a quarter of a million for the autographs of The King of Clout and Harry Frazee, the man who just might behave been responsible for the Curse of the Bambino worth it? Oh yeah!

It’s rumored that Frazee, owner of the Boston Red Sox from 1916 to 1923, sold Ruth to finance a Broadway musical. Frazee was one of the main people involved in the selling off of most of the Sox’s roster, leading to the third longest stretch without a World Series title.

Click through and bid on something that even Abner Doubleday would bid on.

Move over Jurassic Park, now everyone can own a personal dinosaur! This is your chance to bid on a $16,950 life-size stegosaurus, a dominant species from the Late Jurassic period. Known as the “roof-lizard,” this guy marks one of the most famous species of dinosaur. How could you not want him in your front lawn? Or maybe you’re looking for the ultimate prank — imagine what it would be like making the early morning commute and pulling up to a light with this beast poised and ready for attack in the intersection! And because this stegosaurus has feelings, you can keep him company by purchasing his children for only $579 each.

Click through to bid on Steggie.

Ever since Homer Simpson attended rock ‘n’ roll fantasy camp hosted by the Rolling Stones and other rock legends, we’ve all known that he needs a little help in the music industry. This is your chance to team up with Homer and deliver riffs so surrealistically amazing that they’ll be mistaken for chords only possible in a cartoon.

This Homer Simpson electric guitar is truly one of a kind, having been carved by hand and constructed from a solid block of mahogany. The sound quality is said to be beautiful, but it almost looks too beautiful to even play. Avid guitar collectors or Simpsons fanatics will probably jack up this bid in no time.

Click here to put the d’oh back in donut.

Oh yeah baby! Die-hard Star Wars fans will be clamoring over one another for this ugly fat dude — Jabba the Hutt in the flesh (plastic/rubber flesh). Move over action figures, this is a whole new level of commitment on the part of the fan. Star Wars collectibles are on a constant rise in value. And the newer generation movies that have come out are only bumping up the value on first-generation items. This guy’s going off at $10,000, but for that much meat and Hollywood significance, how you could you pass it up? Besides, could you imagine being able to curl up and go to sleep right along side your very own Jabba — breathtaking, simply breathtaking.   

Princess Leia is not included, but you should click through anyway.

This aint no Herbie Hancock we’re talkin’ about. This is the previous belonging of the first signer of the Declaration of Independence; John Hancock. It may cost 10 big ones for this, but what a rare item! And it’s not just some pebble believed to have been held by someone famous at one time, the watch itself is a gorgeous gold antique.

If you’re a person of politics or government, then this a must-have. An authentic handwritten repair-bill document from the same time is also included in this bid. 

Bid on a true piece of American history.