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Would you please keep it down, my dog is being whispered to. Can you imagine someone saying that? Well, maybe you can imagine that, so dig this non-profit auction for a consultation with Cesar Millan, world-renowned dog behavior specialist.
Millan is famous for his “ability” to help families and their dogs on his Primetime Emmy Award nominated show, Dog Whisperer. I suppose you should really only bid on this auction if your dog, or you and your dog have issues, as I guess this a special opportunity for help. Bid now for a chance to revive your pooch’s spirits.
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As part of another non-profit auction, you have the chance to bid on four VIP seats at The Daily Show with Jon Stewart! That’s a pretty sick auction! I’ve personally never attended a live viewing, so I can only imagine doing it in VIP style would be the way to go.
Because of the writer’s strike, we got to see a little bit more of what Stewart is actually like in real life. And with this auction, you’d have the chance to meet him and report back to let us know if he’s as really as funny as we’ve all come to think he is.
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I learned at a young age that it was impolite to give money as a gift (except for major events like graduation and such). But most people I know just end up regifting or wishing for money anyway. Which goes to show that the gratitude towards the thought behind the gift is a much lesser joy than getting a near thoughtless present, such as gift certificate.
This auction not only provides a gift card to something we all enjoy, restaurants, but for under $25, you can get a $100 gift certificate at restaurant.com.
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I’ll admit, I’m a huge fan of Johnny Depp; he’s got to be one of the most super cool fellas out there. He’s like a rebel with a cause (I’ve always wanted to write that). With this auction, you can find a DVD for one of Depp’s classics, Donnie Brasco. Depp stars alongside Al Pacino to make this one of the best mafia movies.
Depp mirrors real-life FBI agent, mole Joe Pistone who infiltrates the mafia and befriends hit man Lefty Ruggiero. This movie does an amazing job of portraying the incredible intensity of getting involved with the Sicilian underworld.
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Angels and Airwaves is amazing. Blink-182 has always been one of my favorite bands, even though they tended to sell out in the name of record executives once in a while. But Angels and Airwaves’ lead singer Tom DeLonge, previously from Blink, shows he’s got some fantastic depth on We Don’t Need to Whisper; their debut album.
The album delivers awesome electronica and alternative rock that is both mystical and oddly energizing. They’ve recently released a second album, which is amazing as well, and means you’ll now be able to find their debut album at cheaper prices.
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Online auctions are a great place to find inexpensive music, if you bid right. I came across a brand new, factory-sealed CD of Sleep Through the Static by Jack Johnson for a starting bid of less than a buck. This guy is just plain awesome. All of his albums are consistently awesome, maintaining his signature bluesy feel-good sound while mixing it up and managing to keep it fresh.
I actually saw him deliver an amazing performance in Madrid, Spain, and I quickly saw that Jack is always chill, having said just a few words to the audience, but still maintaining a friendly, uber laid back attitude. He performed with Donovan Frankenreiter who I also suggest you find an auction for.
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Now this is what video gaming is all about — the mighty arcade. Only with this auction, you get to bring the action of the arcade into your home with this new arcade multiplayer console with over a hundred classic games. I know, at first thought, it seems slightly stupid to not just buy the games for your Playstation or X-Box, but that’s the fun, paradoxical novelty of it!
Besides, arcade games were born of a more social video gaming era, and have been built to be beat on when strangers gather round to drink beers and play in a bar or when kids hopped up on “green cigarettes” bash the buttons in hoping of shooting through their current haze. Was that a run-on sentence or what?
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What is it about farts? I don’t care how mature you are, or what your background is, farts will forever be ranked among the top funniest things to witness. I realize I may be setting myself up on this one, and may actually be relatively alone on that opinion, but I’m still putting it out there.
This item features a case of gag glass fart stink bombs — and I do mean gag! Perhaps part of the humor in farts is our perpetual amazement that something so rank can come from within us. Hell, we should pat ourselves on the back and be proud of our accomplishments.
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Not that I was around to witness it, but having more than one TV per household used to be ludicrous to even think of. Now, homes have got to be averaging at lest three TVs and two computers (no, I didn’t do any research on those averages). Normally, listing off your consumer electronics from your personal inventory would automatically indicate some degree of your socioeconomic status.
However, the online bidding world let’s us pimp out our dishwashers if we want to. Take for example these Yamaha speakers with sound-isolating stands — they’re priced as low as possible without being free, so it really doesn’t matter what you do with them. You could pimp out your garage or use them for shooting practice, either way, bid right and you’d get your money’s worth. The point is, online auctions let us be extravagant at sub Wal-Mart pricing.
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Alright, so McDonald’s take-out food is considered a special occasion — big deal. And doing your laundry every four weeks instead of the usual six is considered splurging during a hygienic holy month — who cares? There’s a different breed of us out there; the Not So Rich & Famous. And if we want to live sub par and be proud of it, then so be it.
Enter the used entertainment console. This item features a used PS2 console, some controllers and a few games. The starting bid is under a $1, so why not delay the laundry another couple of weeks and bid on some not so expensive fun?
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Does anyone still play trombone? I’m sure a major symphony here or there does, but is this not one of the lamest instruments out there? I mean, since Ron Burgundy made the jazz flute cool again, the trombone has got to be at the bottom of the list of cool instruments. At most, it’s one of those novelty instruments that middle schoolers think looks cool and then tire of after a week or two.
Having said all that, I challenge ye to create modern, cool music using a trombone. Prove me wrong!
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Don’t get me wrong, the female body is an amazing wonderland, one which I’ll always cherish deeply — but beads for boobs? Come on girls, you’re better than that. If they were actual gems or gold beads, then maybe I could see a quick flash being justified, but for plastic?
I know it’s one week out of the year to shed inhibitions, but I’ll play the role of devil’s advocate and ask where the equity is? Not that I want to see such a scene, but where’s the scenario beads for balls? Either way, have fun with Mardi Gras celebrations and check out this auction for a large bag of green, purple and gold beads. And can anyone tell me how beads came to be such a big part of this celebration?
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