Well, if you make it to the stars in this RAF 2000 GTX SE Gyroplane, then chances are you’re simply experiencing an LSD flashback on your couch. This craft may not be bound for the stars, but for $15,600, you might be able to impress a few of Hollywood’s stars.

Sure, personal jets are pretty bad ass, but consider how many more locations you could swoop down on and land this little guy. I imagine this gyroplane offers supreme convenience and just plain looks fun to pilot!

Click through and gyrate.

The idea is great: a universal hydrogen boost fuel injection system. However, this particular item appears to have been assembled in a junior high school tech class, failing to mention any industry experience or other units of credibility. Paying less than a thousand dollars for something that may save you thousands sounds great, but caveat emptor.

This injection system is said to improve engine horsepower and gas mileage, while decreasing pollution and qualifying for an IRS tax deduction. These are the reasons why this system is a great idea. But anytime a boost is involved, especially on or around my multi-thousand dollar car, I’d much rather it came direct from a manufacturer or specialist, ensuring that my engine isn’t boosted  through my hood.

Click through for what might be the next best thing to rocket fuel.

This SWAT-C8 PAVA projectile launcher is a non-lethal weapon, but it’s still no joke. This CO2-powered gun can fire both practice and live rounds up to 75 feet. Mind you, this is being sold for self-defense purposes — who needs self-defense up to 75 feet away? Someone who caused the trouble in the first place and is expecting retaliation, that’s who.

Self-defense tools are very important, especially for women, and we certainly have the right to bear arms, but for every gun or weapon of any degree, there should be some education or training involved. For example, police training involves the officers taking some of their own medicine, such as being sprayed with pepper spray, to make sure they know exactly what they’re doing to suspects.

Click through and be a vigilante.

Now you can rob banks and hold up liquor stores to your heart’s content with this brand-new bulletproof vest! This bad runner is a level IIIA police-style vest with ceramic plates.

Other than an episode on Jackass, America’s Most Disturbed Home Videos, or Honey I Shot the Neighbor should you really need one of these things. I’m pretty sure police officers are provided with these free of charge, so if you’re bidding on this vest, then you’ll probably want to keep a low profile about it.  

Click through and bid on something you really shouldn’t need.

This auction features a TeleSecurity device, offering you the freedom you deserve when you talk to grandma…or your CIA operatives. This gadget affords protection against phone tapping and has no government regulation — which means the technology is cutting-edge or doesn’t work at all.

Whether you want to disable eavesdropping technology from picking up on your sensitive information, such as credit cards, or you simply don’t want your significant other to know about a secret hot date, this thing could make for a pretty cool tech-toy. 

Click through and start your own Patriot Act.

You can live the life you’ve always wanted with the power of 100,000 volts in the palm of your hand. I don’t care if you live in the country or in the middle of NYC’s mean city streets, there are countless things you can do with that many volts.

For only 22 bucks, you can instantly fry your eggs or immobilize your nagging boyfriend or girlfriend for 10 to 30 minutes of quiet bliss. Have trouble getting to sleep? Give yourself a quick, efficient zap and it’s counting sheep for you!

Click through for this stunning item.

Giving a dog a bone may be a thing of the past. Actually, giving a dog a marrow-filled bone may be a thing of the past, while giving a dog an Aibone may be a thing of the future.

Sony’s Aibo ers-7 with Mind 3 upgrade is an artificial intelligence robot dog. There’s no need to worry about teaching an old dog new tricks — this one comes preprogrammed with them. There’s a lot of potential here, and AI technology is leaping and bounding every day, but this puppy is just a little too slow to maintain the attention of anyone older than eight. And for almost $2,000, you can get a very nice purebred. 

Click through for some doggy style.

I know you never thought it would be possible, but your wildest dreams are about to come true. For $13,900, a  Lockheed L-1011 cockpit can be yours! No, not the entire aircraft, just the cockpit. Who could possibly need more than that?

Just think about all the wonderful uses: real-life playhouse for your kids, a unique VIP section at your club, leave it in your yard to annoy your neighbor, or pretend your Howard Hughes and invent a new aircraft. The sky is literally the limit…well, actually, there’s absolutely nothing involved with this item that would get it off the ground, so the ground’s the limit for this one.

Click here to be the master of your own cockpit.

I’m not sure if this item was supposed to be listed under the XXX section, but the auctioneer is offering this item as a legitimate patent to be purchased for one million dollars. These featured prototype cell phones reproduce physical kisses. A detector in the phone records lip pressure, percussion speed and sucking force.

These values are then transmitted and reproduced on the other phone through an elastomer mouth. I’m sure future models will enable the user to select custom mouth designs, such as Debbie’s; the classy gal who toured Dallas.

Click through if you know of someone who wants to kiss their phone.

I’m not sure if this piece is weird for the sake of weird, or simply an expression by the creator stating “I’m weird.” This is a conglomeration of 13 color television monitors, two video-disc consoles, a video recorder and a viewing monitor all in the general shape of a dog.

This might be worth the $50,000 asking price if you could program it for viewing your favorite games, but it only plays rapidly streaming socio-political iconography with animated canine imagery on each monitor. The only way this thing should be considered cool is if there’s a “big-brother is watching” commentary attached or you have a hip, retro politically orientated bar or lounge to place this conversation starter.

If you’ve got more ducats than Scrooge McDuck, then click through and bid.

This convertible hard-top roof system patent serves to convert cars and pickups into hard-top convertibles. Do your technology research first before submitting a bid on this, but if the specs check out, then the $2.5 million could merely be considered a simple front-end cost, setting you up for a huge residual income.

The hardest part has been done for you, inventing it, now all you need to do is put this puppy into play in the market. The owner of the patent is even willing to share his preliminary marketing figures. So if you have some marketing and business savvy, then this is a great way to catapult yourself into the marketplace.

Don’t worry. You can just buy someone’s patent. You don’t have to worry about re-inventing the wheel, because someone has already done it for you, and thrown in full trademark rights as well!

This full US patent offers a cutting-edge emergency warning device rapid deployment system. This system is almost certain to make 4-way flashers obsolete. Get this. It actually ejects markers from a moving vehicle at high speeds (if necessary), preventing major accidents in emergency situations!

This is your chance to provide a product that can help save lives as well as provide you with an amazing income. Bid now before you miss out.