You might want to sit down for this one…are you sitting down yet? Probably, you’re at a computer. Instead of blowing your next company bonus at Vegas, try and take it to the house of the mighty Mercedes-Benz. The starting bid for this 2005 Mercedes-Benz SLK350 Hardtop Convertible Launch Edition is only $1,000.

Sure, the bid amount will go up, that’s the nature of the beast. But perhaps everyone else out there is thinking the same thing — you could be that one person who pursued the American Dream (getting nice things for cheap by doing little to nothing) and hit the jackpot. Bid high or go home on this one!

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Alright boyz and girlz, can you say “big pimpin’?” This 2006 Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder represents one of the few guaranteed ways to elevate your social status overnight! This is in the class of automobiles where all you need to do is simply stand by it and you will become a magnet. You will attract the highest socialites, prove to an employer that you’re worth that dream job and garner your dream spouse.

Is all this really true? I’m the one writing and I think I smell bull dung. However, in all honesty, stepping up to the plate for a sick purchase like this could be the wake-up call you’ve always needed. Maybe bidding on this car will provide that missing notion that you are worth it — that you rule. Own it baby, own it.  

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Okay, forget the corporate jet! This Loehle P5151 is a 3/4 scale P-51 replica. Not that I’ve ever heard of that model before, but it looks fun as hell to fly. And $8,100 doesn’t seem too steep either when you consider how much fun you can have with this plane all year round.

Again, I’m definitely not a plane enthusiast, but this auction item is most certainly an eye-catcher. So if you’re going for unique, this one’s got your number.

Click through and bid on a bad ass bird.

Neighbor hasn’t returned your chainsaw in four months? No problem, reacquire it with ease with this rugged 60-ton LARC-LX (Lighter, Amphibious, Resupply, Cargo) . For just 125,000 small ones, you could use this 60-ton monster to crush right through your neighbor’s house and fit his entire shed in the cargo bay.

And after you finish up your yard work, you could bypass busy flight paths and go island hopping with this LARC’s sick amphibious capabilities!

Click through and conquer your neighborhood.

This 2007 Yamaha WaveRunner FX High Output Cruiser may be a two-seater, but talk about an ideal way to get close to a cutie. At $10,200, you better have some expendable income to burn…or already have three cars and getting bored with your personal jet.

But not only are these things fun to rip around on, the two-seater cruisers are awesome for longer distance trips. You can go island hopping or just park it in the middle of the lake, get wasted and have your buddy drive you back to shore.

Click through to get wet n’ wild.

Well, if you make it to the stars in this RAF 2000 GTX SE Gyroplane, then chances are you’re simply experiencing an LSD flashback on your couch. This craft may not be bound for the stars, but for $15,600, you might be able to impress a few of Hollywood’s stars.

Sure, personal jets are pretty bad ass, but consider how many more locations you could swoop down on and land this little guy. I imagine this gyroplane offers supreme convenience and just plain looks fun to pilot!

Click through and gyrate.

How many times have you thought to yourself, “Wow, I’d never be late to work if I had my own dragster”? Unless you’re a regular on the German Autobahn, probably never. So the practicality side of this $18,500 rear-engine 235″ hard-tail dragster probably doesn’t shimmer as brightly as the mid-life-crisis-appeasing side of it, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t check it out. Who wants practical anyway?

Who needs drugs or alcohol to bring them down from their daily stress-cloud? Take an ultra quick tool in this little monster and whatever it was that had you flustered will surely melt with a few sick speed bursts.

Click through and get draggin’.

Nope, not that kind of rim job, these are four blazin’ 24-inch rims. Actually, they’re a little scuffed up, but I just wanted to include this auction because I still think it’s funny that a nonessential part of the car is worth more than some used cars alone. I agree, rims are p-h-a-t, but I’d rather take that $500 and blow it on some pipe dreams at Vegas.

I know they can look pretty killer on some cars, but you’ve got to have the personal style to match. I’ve yet to see someone sporting rims without seeming like a complete tool, trying to achieve coolness overnight.

Click through and pimp your ride.

Get a gorgeous 1997 Ducati Monster 750 for only $3,500. This puppy has barely hit the road, having spent most of its life in a garage as a collector’s item. It has been ridden enough to keep the fluids and rubber parts in proper working order.

This road master is part of a fine history, dating back to 1926, when the brothers Adriano, Marcello and Bruno Ducati founded Societa Scientifica Radio Brevietti Ducati in Bologna. Not even heavy Allied bombing of their original factory could stop them! 

Click through and bid on an awesome bike for a great price.

This 2007 Mendele Go Kart is awesome! Complete with manual transmission for intense professional-level racing, this go kart looks like it delivers a sick ride. And the roll bar not only adds safety, but lets you get nasty on all-terrain trails. The 150cc, four-stroke engine will have you shreadin’ in seconds.

You can find regular go kart tracks anywhere, but it’s pretty hard to find an off-road course where a vehicle like this could be unleashed. Seeing as how go karts have remained such a fun activity for so long, it seems like starting an off-track go kart place would be an awesome niche market to get into.

Click through, bid, and get rippin’. 

A 1934 Ford Hi-Boy Roadster for only $35,000? Jump on this one while you can! It took 12 years to collect the parts and five years to construct it. That may just mean it took the mechanic longer than most putting the lug nut back on.

This roadster is constructed from various parts from other cars, but the specs detail out a car that purrs. Hell, this thing would do fine simply sittin’ pretty in your front lawn, turning your neighbors green with envy.

Lose the station wagon, hop in a roadster. 

Here to put the fever back in Saturday night is the ultra classic Travolta Fever Firebird. This custom-built, one-of-a-kind Firebird is a true Hollywood gem. Built by the amazing George Barris, this celebrity car is easily one of Hollywood’s best time capsules — with four tires and an engine that puts the s, p, e, e, and d in speed.

Built in the late 70’s, the Travolta Fever Firebird maintains the style and essence of the late 70’s and early 80’s, illuminating the fabulous fads and bold character of that time. What’s even bolder than the car itself? You in it! Can you imagine the looks on people’s faces when they see you slide by on a Saturday night in this smooth puppy!

There’s no doubt about it, this car is for the ultimate urban cowboy. The car’s current interior directly reflects Travolta’s 1980 Urban Cowboy, sporting cowhide seats, an actual saddle for the center console, and more.

As a pioneer in cutting-edge design, this automotive dream has collected dozens of ribbons as a celebrity concept show car, featuring sculptured fender flares with NASCAR-inspired air ducts and a custom rear whale tail. And because it served as a show car, this bad boy is in top condition. It even has the original tires.

So giddy up and check out the auction for this beauty.